This Strange Feeling

I'm feeling kinda weird now. I just got an sms from 1 of my best friends...that they finally got their dream job. Normally, I'd be very happy to hear of a friend's success/happy event but this time.....Like just the other day, I received VERY BIG news from 2 of my friends about something happy. And I got all excited for them, maybe even more excited than they were. I was just so happy then. But now maybe, it's bcoz it's been so set in my mind that they're already settled in this particular job, this location, that things won't change already. Like, it's confirmed in my mind that these friends are in Kuching, these friends are in KL, and these others are in other parts of Malaysia and the world. Or maybe it's bcoz it's one of my closer friends who I just got to know much better in the past year and I really care a lot about every 1 of them. That they're getting further and further from me. At first, it wasn't that far away, but now it seems that the distance has grown even more. Physical distance of course, emotional distance is still ok. We're all still in touch and talking on the phone/MSN..

I think I'm kinda in shock now. There I was, just checking my company email then I hear this familiar ringtone (I set specific ringtones for each of my closest friends), which I havent heard in awhile. Reading their SMS..i could feel my mood drastically change from quietly contented but tired to quietly contemplative and slightly sad. I actually can feel my heart sinking and my brain getting muddled as I'm trying to sort out my feelings here. Maybe I'm not as adaptive to change as I thought I was. Coz this change kinda affects me in a sense. Our original plans were that we could meet up for holidays every once in awhile, you know 'Cuti-Cuti Malaysia' and all that. But with this move, there would be one kaki short. It may not seem like a big deal, but for us, each of us contributes a different factor to the whole group. And if one is missing, it's different. Some of these friends are more influential than others too, as in the amount of craziness/fun/ideas/capability they contribute.

I know, I really should be happy for them. But it's kinda hard now. I'm gonna miss them. After my trip back to Kch for CNY, I felt really happy to have been able to meet up with everyone. I could feel myself smiling widely everyday while in Kuching, bcoz you guys just made my day. But once I went into the airport, I was like..oh crap, I'm gonna leave again. KL has lots of things to do, but I enjoy spending time with my friends more. Even if we just sit around watching tv together, or chatting about nth in particular, that's more fun to me. And it means a lot more. I guess the bad part about going back, is that once I got back to KL, I missed everyone even more. It seems like such a long time till April. And I wonder when I would be able to see some of you, especially the ones not in Kuching, since it's not like CNY where we all come back. Now I really want that year-end trip even more. Even if it's 9 mths away, at least if it's confirmed, it's something for me to look forward to. Quality time with quality ppl.

I miss you guys. And I'll miss you till I see you. But I'll miss you even more after I see you. Haiz.

Anyway, Happy Chap Goh Mei!